Bad restaurant practices

Fifty No! No!s...for goodness sake. Might as well stay home and call for pizza, you can do whatever you want.. huh...

Never substitute human feces as fudge.
Never piss in a glass and serve as apple juice.
Never cut off someones weewee and serve it as a hotdog.
Never blow bugars on a salad and serve it as Italian dressing.
Never hack up an oyster of snot from you throat and serve it as jello.

I love them all, but I have number 51:

Always have the person ordering the wine taste the wine. Never ask who is tasting when the order was placed by a female with men at the table. Waiters always do this to a woman ordering wine but almost never when a man orders the wine.